Merry Kissmas
by NarutoRox
Summary: In which all Bucky wants for Christmas is a certain genius superhero, and for the rest of their teammates to stop hanging mistletoe and kissing said genius, thank you very much.


**AN:** For my Winteriron Holiday Exchange giftee demonsrock on tumblr, who read my mind when they said they loved everything Christmas as a trope and would love to see Bucky's first Christmas with the team. That + early stages of relationship and them discovering their feelings = me latching onto the idea of mistletoe and subsequently writing almost 9k words of jealous Bucky and Avengers matchmaking shenanigans. :D

Special thank you and many hugs to followthemuze for being a wonderful beta and cheerleader, and to the Winteriron Holiday Exchange admins for organizing and making the exchange possible.

Title is because I'm an unoriginal and terrible person who loves puns. X)

* * *

 **~Merry Kissmas~**

* * *

Even Bucky had to admit it wasn't a big deal, the first time it happened.

It had been innocent enough, after all - just some fun shenanigans amongst friends. The whole team sans Thor had been together, setting up the Christmas decorations Tony had insisted he didn't want but had bought anyway, laughing and more than a little buzzed on eggnog.

Bucky had been in the middle of a good-natured argument with Steve on whether tinsel was festive or a pain in the ass when Sam - who at that point had probably been the most buzzed - had let out a chortle and pointed to where Clint and Tony were talking.

"Mistletoe!" he sing-songed obnoxiously, laughing when everyone stopped what they were doing to follow his gaze and start catcalling.

Tony had just rolled his eyes, but Clint - who had easily been the second-most buzzed - had snorted, thrown an arm around Tony's neck, and planted an exaggerated, sloppy kiss on Tony's chin, resulting in an uproar of laughter from the others.

Bucky had felt his stomach clench, but Tony's exaggerated reaction had helped ease the tension away.

"I have dog germs!" Tony had cried out amidst the laughs and catcalling, wiping his face in mock disgust and chucking a bit of holly at Bruce, the nearest catcaller. "Get some hot water, get some disinfectant!"

"No love," Clint had sighed while Tony had continued his tirade, placing a hand over his heart and staring forlornly into the distance.

So, yes, while Bucky had noticed the unpleasant way his insides had burned with jealousy, he'd still been able to laugh it off with the others, and tell himself it wasn't a big deal, and nothing to be jealous about.

The second time, though, is a little harder to swallow. Likely because this time, Tony was the one who initiated it.

It happened two days after the first incident with Clint, when Bucky, Steve, and Natasha wandered into the common room after a sparring session. Bruce and Tony were already leaning against the doorway when they came in, completely absorbed with the tablet Bruce was holding, but they both looked up once they noticed the trio's arrival.

Tony flashed them a quick, carefree grin that did funny little things to Bucky's heart, but before he could follow through with the quip that was no doubt on the tip of his tongue Natasha gave a little snort and pointed above their heads, eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Did we interrupt something?" she asked wryly, drawing attention to the mistletoe hanging above their heads, much to Bucky's irritation.

Irritation that quickly morphed into something darker when Tony, after a quick glance upward, plastered himself to Bruce's side and kissed his cheek, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head against the other man's shoulder.

"Brucie-bear, we've been discovered," he said, sparing them all a glance around Bruce's head.

"It just wasn't meant to be, darling." Bruce deadpanned, not looking up from his tablet nor changing his expression, though he moved a hand to pat the top of Tony's head.

Bucky had to fight a very real, nearly violent impulse to lean over and rip Tony off of him, never mind the (likely big and green) consequences.

And it wasn't as though Bucky didn't know Tony was joking; he was always making similar jokes about his 'mean green science bro', as he liked to call Bruce. But in that moment, Bucky wished he was in Bruce's place so badly he could physically feel the jealous longing simmering under his skin.

Tony sighed and finally let go of Bruce, much to Bucky's relief. "I think I've been dumped." he told them, shaking his head and glancing at Bucky quizzically.

Bucky quickly tried to school his features into something more neutral and hopefully less murderous, though he didn't think he was successful if the furrow between Tony's brows was any indication.

"We'll always have the lab," Bruce said regretfully before pushing himself off the wall and walking past them towards the elevator, still not looking up from his tablet.

Tony shrugged and gave them all a smirk, then jogged after him, landing a light pat on both Steve and Bucky's shoulders as he passed.

Bucky watched him go, determinedly trying to tamper down his longing, and maybe that was why he didn't notice the calculating look Steve gave him, or his not-so-casual nod to Natasha.

* * *

Bucky blames not noticing the predatory glint in Natasha's eye on being half-asleep when he walks into the communal kitchen the next morning. Otherwise he was sure he would have recognized the Black Widow on the hunt - or at least wondered why she was uncharacteristically loitering around the entryway without any food or drink in hand.

As it was, though, he was out of it enough that he just grunted at Steve once he noticed him. Steve snorted in amusement, but took pity on him and gave him a strip of his bacon.

Bucky had just finished munching on it and started in on the mug that had materialized in front of him when Tony stumbled into the room, clothes rumbled and hair sticking up on one side, a mug of his own in hand. He looked like he'd just woken up, though Bucky knew it was more likely that he'd never gone to bed to begin with.

The sight made Bucky's mouth go dry, and woke him up more than any amount of coffee could - especially when the corners of Tony's mouth turned up upon seeing them. Bucky felt his own face light up in response, then fall when Natasha's arm reached out and snagged Tony's, halting his progress and immediately raising Bucky's hackles.

"Really, Stark?" she asked with an eyebrow raised, keeping one arm firmly hooked around him and pointing up with the other.

The rest of Bucky's good mood plummeted as he followed her gaze to the mistletoe hanging cheerfully in the doorway, seemingly innocent but no less poisonous and sinister.

Not unlike Natasha, Bucky thought bitterly.

"Kissing Black Widows is bad for my health," Tony snorted, taking a small step out of Natasha's reach and deftly catching her other hand before she could grab him with it, too. Bucky made a mental note to up Tony's sparring sessions.

"But never let it be said that I left a lady hanging," he added, bringing the back of her hand to his mouth.

Bucky felt both chagrined and relieved, which were replaced by dread when Natasha's eye caught his over the top of Tony's head.

"Really, Tony?" she sighed, stepping back into his personal space and sliding her arms around his neck without missing a beat. "Clint and Bruce didn't get the southern belle treatment. Is Iron Man afraid of girl cooties?"

"I trust Clint and Bruce not to stab me." Tony pointed out, yawning and not making any move to step away. "And I'm not treating you like a southern belle, I'm being a gentleman."

Natasha rolled her eyes and flicked him in the ear. Tony grinned down at her - an expression that turned to surprised confusion, then slight alarm when, instead of backing off, she tugged his head down to meet hers until their lips were just millimeters apart.

Bucky vaguely registered a cracking sound from his mug as he squeezed it a little too hard, but paid it no mind, even when its contents started to spill across the table and into his lap.

Natasha chuckled, then yanked Tony's head down a little farther and placed a light, chaste kiss to his forehead.

"Go to sleep, Tony." she said fondly, patting his cheek lightly and releasing him. Tony frowned in dazed confusion as she turned on her heels and walked back through the kitchen, snagging a piece of Steve's toast while he was distracted with Bucky's spilled mug.

" _That's how it's done ,_ " she told Bucky in Russian as she passed, a triumphant smirk firmly in place.

Bucky just barely suppressed a snarl, and concentrated very, very hard on mopping up his coffee with the dishtowel Steve had hastily tossed at him.

"That woman terrifies me," Tony said once she was gone, oblivious to Bucky's inner turmoil. He plopped down in the seat next to Steve and eyed his unattended plate, perking up some. "Oooh, is there more bacon?"

* * *

"I just don't know what everyone is doing, getting all in his face and violating his personal space, anyway." Bucky complained later that afternoon, wrapping his scarf more firmly around his face by tugging on the ends with a bit more violence than was strictly necessary. "It's not as though there aren't other people they can go slobber on."

Steve, the unhelpful bastard, snickered around his bite of hotdog.

"Other people you don't have crushes on, you mean." he said, reaching over and loosening Bucky's scarf one-handed before he strangled himself with it.

Bucky scowled at him, feeling betrayed, and tightened his scarf again just to be contrary.

"I do not have a _crush_ on Tony," he said sullenly. A crush didn't encompass his feelings for Tony. They couldn't be described as something so...inadequate. It was so much more than that, though he couldn't find a way to explain it to Steve without sounding sad and pitiful. He thought Steve might have picked it up anyway from the look he gave him, but he didn't comment on it.

"You're talking like they hold him down and lick his face. It's just everyone having a little fun, Buck." he said instead, giving up on the scarf. "And as someone who has personally tried to get him to do something he doesn't want to do, I can say with certainty that it doesn't bother Tony. Otherwise he wouldn't keep letting everyone get away with it."

He eyed Bucky thoughtfully as he chewed another bite of hotdog. "If it bothers you, though, maybe you should say something to him."

Bucky choked on his own bite. "I can't!" he said, feeling his face heat.

"Why not?" Steve asked, not unreasonably. "You said things were getting much better between you and Tony, didn't you?"

Bucky swallowed. "Well, yeah - but we're not, y'know." he mumbled, not making eye contact. They were closer, sure, but that didn't mean they were _together_. He was still trying to figure out a way to slowly ease Tony into the idea.

Besides, _Bucky_ hadn't even kissed Tony yet, so he couldn't very well tell Tony he didn't want him kissing other people. Tony was free to kiss whomever he liked, even if it did make Bucky want to break something. That was Bucky's problem, not Tony's.

Steve's brow furrowed. "But I thought you said you'd gone out with him?"

The heat in Bucky's cheeks intensified. Technically, he had been on a few dates with Tony. Tony may not have known they were actually dates, but still. It counted.

"No, it really doesn't." Steve told him, lips twitching in amusement, when he'd repeated that out loud.

"Does too," Bucky protested weakly. Steve gave him a flat, unimpressed look.

"What did you do on these alleged dates, then?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Christmas shopping." Bucky mumbled. On the grounds of finding a gift for Steve, no less, but Bucky wasn't telling the smug punk that.

"You mean like we are now?" Steve asked, looking around and feigning surprise.

"No," Bucky protested, well aware he was digging his own grave. "We- we even got lunch!"

Steve looked pointedly down at the hotdogs they were eating. Bucky flushed harder.

"Well, it was a sit-down lunch." he defended, squaring his jaw and pretending to be interested in the window display beside them.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Sure it was. Just so we're clear, you aren't going to tell people we're on a date, right?"

Bucky didn't dignify that with an answer. Steve sighed.

"Look, I'm not trying to give you hard time. I'm just saying...talk to Tony. Stealth-dating him doesn't work if he doesn't know you're on a date."

Bucky watched his reflection in the glass, all surly and brooding. He was probably freaking out the kids he could see playing inside.

"What if I'm readin' everything wrong?" he said softly, eyes dropping to an Iron Man plush sticking out of the massive pile of stuffed animals on display. He and Tony had seen a Captain America one when they'd been shopping, and Tony had found it so hilarious he'd bought it for Steve. It had been cute, but Bucky thought the Iron Man was cuter. He was probably biased.

"What if I'm readin' everything wrong," he repeated, turning back to Steve. "And I screw everything up? Or I ask him on an actual date, and he says no?"

Steve - who'd been watching him carefully while pretending to be just as interested in the display as Bucky was - reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

"And what if you don't do anything, and end up regretting it later?" he asked, smiling with eyes that were just a little too knowing, and a bit sad.

Bucky looked down. He supposed Steve would know a thing or two about that.

When Steve bumped into his shoulder a second later, though, his smile was much more mischievous.

"C'mon," he said, grinning and nodding towards the little Iron Man. "I think I just found a present for Tony."

Bucky grinned in spite of himself, and wondered if he'd be able to sneak himself one, too, without Steve noticing.

* * *

Bucky kept mulling over what Steve had said about regrets, and it was with that in mind that he went looking for Tony later that day.

Deciding that Tony was probably in the workshop as per usual Bucky headed in that direction, detouring through the common room on the off-chance he would run into him there on the way.

He'd only made it a few steps in, though, when he noticed something was off. He frowned, trying to figure out what it was, and registered something swaying lightly in his peripheral vision. He took a few steps back to get a better look and froze, staring up in mounting horror as he counted the dozens upon dozens of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

Bucky blinked and rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was having a nightmare, but, no, when he looked back up they were still there - _everywhere_. A virtual minefield of mistletoe, strategically placed in six-inch intervals, so someone wouldn't even be able to walk through the room without finding themselves under any.

Bucky closed his eyes, taking deep breaths and reminding himself what Steve had said about it all being in good fun. Whoever put these up was probably just being...enthusiastic, and not doing it to get to him.

Unless it was Natasha.

Bucky growled, visions of Tony walking through here later mixing with the scene at breakfast this morning, and glared daggers at the nearest bunch of enemy decor.

He spied a ladder leaning up against the far wall and nodded to himself. He had work to do.

* * *

"Uh, Buck? What are you doing?" Steve asked, his tone a bit off.

Bucky looked down the ladder at him, noticing the way his brow was knitted in concern, and pulled the string of mistletoe he'd been holding between his teeth out to answer him.

"Redecorating," he said pleasantly, snipping off the strand he'd been focusing on and climbing down the ladder so he could move on to the next patch of ceiling.

From the grimace Bucky caught on his way down, that wasn't the answer Steve had wanted to hear.

"I can see that," Steve said cautiously, arranging his features into something less worried. "Uh, why?"

Bucky didn't answer while he arranged the ladder and made his ascent, trying to think of something that wouldn't make him sound any crazier than he already felt.

"Because it's ugly?" he suggested, deciding to go with the easiest answer. "It's a _weed_ , Steve. We don't need weeds hanging from the ceiling."

"The whole _building_ is ugly," Steve pointed out, exasperated. "So this has nothing to do with-"

"Holly," Bucky said, a little too loudly, and snipped the nearest mistletoe a bit more savagely than he intended. "Holly is much more festive."

"Festive," Steve repeated, his face going pinched in a way that meant he was either trying not to laugh or grimace again. "Wait, so mistletoe is a weed, but holly is festive?"

"Or snowflakes! Everyone likes snowflakes-"

" _Bucky_ -"

"I like snowflakes," a familiar voice said, making Bucky fumble the scissors and curse himself for not noticing him entering the room.

"Tony," Steve said, sounding no less exasperated but much more fond, and making Bucky wonder if _he_ had heard him coming and just not said anything, the bastard. "We were just talking-"

"Smack about my tower?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows at him. "I heard you calling my - okay, Pepper's - baby ugly again, Cap, don't even pretend you weren't. Now, what's this about snowflakes?"

"Bucky wants to decorate the tower with snowflakes." Steve responded dutifully, shaking his head at Tony's antics and eyes twinkling in that faux-innocent way that fooled neither Bucky or Tony.

Tony snapped his fingers and pointed at Bucky, though he kept a justifiably suspicious eye on Steve. "Now there's a man with a plan! Much better than that weedy holly crap-" Steve gave Bucky a pointed look over Tony's head. "-and you can keep them up way longer, because they're all...wintery...and stuff. What?" he added defensively at the look Steve was giving him.

Steve smirked and shook his head. Tony huffed and looked up at Bucky, face open and tinged slightly with embarrassment Bucky didn't think he would have seen if he hadn't been looking for it.

" _I_ like snowflakes," he told him, and Bucky resolved to cover every square inch of the tower in the damn things if it meant he could put that expression back on Tony's face.

Tony's smile grew a little wider at whatever he saw on Bucky's face, then turned back to Steve, who for some reason looked smug.

"But what do I know? What with my big ugly tower and all." he sniffed, waving an arm around to encompass the room - and building - in general.

Steve groaned. "One comment, _one_ comment and you never let me forget it -"

"Two, actually, if we count today, and who knows how many more when I'm not around. But that's beside the point. I cannot stand the hypocrisy, Steve!"

"Hypocrisy?" Steve asked in confusion, glancing up at Bucky. Bucky smirked back and reached for another strand of mistletoe to snip.

"Yes, Steve, hypocrisy! I'm not taking advice on design from a man who runs around wearing the American flag."

"Which is pretty rich coming from a guy who flies around in the flashiest colors possible." Steve snorted, making Tony gasp in mock outrage.

"I like red and gold," Bucky said amiably, and, just to get Steve's goat, added "We should do the whole tower up in those colors. That'll be festive."

"Are, are you making fun of me? Because that kind of sounded like you were making fun of me and complimenting me at the same time, and while I will always endorse team mocking of Steve's terrible taste in fashion -" Tony frowned, squinting up at him. "How long have we been standing under mistletoe?"

Bucky froze, and looked down at the mistletoe he had just cut free - and was holding right over Steve and Tony's heads - in mortification.

Steve's ears went pink, but Tony's brow just furrowed in bewilderment.

"And while we're at it, why is there so much of it over only half the room?" he inquired, glancing between the part of the ceiling Bucky had de-mistletoed and the part he hadn't gotten to yet.

Bucky dropped the mistletoe and tried to keep his scowl at bay while Steve looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Huh, wei- Oh come on, Cap, I'm not going to _bite_ you," Tony said, rolling his eyes, misinterpreting Steve's tense shoulders and terrified expression.

"I know that," Steve grumbled, wincing up at Bucky. "I, uh…"

Bucky propped his elbow on the top ladder rung and rested his chin in his hand, face sour. He made a 'go on' motion to Steve, who relaxed and turned back to face Tony with calculating eyes that made Bucky's own narrow in suspicion.

Tony snickered in amusement, oblivious to the exchange, and grinned at Steve as though he were a particularly cute puppy. "Aw, Cap, are you shy?"

Quick as a flash, Steve grabbed Tony's shoulders and planted a fast, chaste kiss to his mouth, then rocked back on his heels, wearing his best 'aw-shucks butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth' expression and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Nope," he replied cheekily, while Tony gaped at him, scandalized, and Bucky debated whether or not he'd survive if he threw his scissors at him.

"Oh my God, did you see that?" Tony crowed once he recovered enough to speak, throwing a fist in the air. "I was just kissed by Captain America! J, please tell me you caught that on camera - this moment _must_ be shared."

"I'm afraid not, Sir. The angle of Mr. Barnes' ladder made it hard to discern faces." JARVIS replied regretfully, while Bucky buried his face in his hands, finding himself in the familiar situation of being torn between being amused and wanting to strangle Steve.

"Eh, just as well, I guess. A photo of Captain America and Iron Man kissing would probably break Twitter." Tony remarked, simpering at Steve, who rolled his eyes. He then turned and smirked at Bucky, who had to drop his hand from flipping Steve off.

"Indeed, Sir." JARVIS agreed. "And may I remind you that Miss Potts is still waiting for you in the lobby, and is becoming most impatient?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah - no worries, just tell her I'm coming, and I got distracted on my way down making out with Cappanova." Tony said, winking and giving them both a jaunty salute as he headed towards the elevator. "Sorry to kiss and run, boys, but…"

"'Bye, Tony," Steve snorted, wrinkling his nose at the new nickname.

"Asshole," Bucky growled, once Tony was out of earshot. Steve smiled sheepishly at him.

"Sorry," he apologized, not sounding nearly contrite enough to Bucky's ears. "But you know how he gets under my skin sometimes. And besides, it wasn't even my fault - you literally dangled it over our heads!"

Bucky growled again and grabbed the last bit of mistletoe within reach, just ripping it off it's string instead of cutting. It made him feel marginally better.

"Didn't mean you had to go rubbing my nose in it," Bucky grumbled, climbing down. Despite his murderous mood he had no intention of actually decking Steve - but the punk didn't seem so sure, and took several steps back anyway. "Some best friend - you didn't hafta kiss him on the mouth!"

"What I don't understand," Steve said, once Bucky had climbed back up the ladder and was out of relative arm's reach. "Is why you didn't just park under some of this and wait for Tony yourself. JARVIS would probably tell you when he's on his way if you asked him."

Bucky dropped his scissors, his mouth falling open.

" _Son of a bitch_!"

* * *

Bucky shifted his weight on the wall he was leaning up against, biting his lip and fighting down his nerves.

Tony was on his way up, would be coming through those elevator doors any minute - JARVIS had assured him so - and he was trying to keep himself from getting too antsy and blowing the whole plan. (God bless Steve. Bucky took back all his earlier, uncharitable thoughts - he was a real pal.) All he had to do was keep his cool, stand there, wait for Tony to walk by, and then oh-so-casually point out the mistletoe he was standing under and let everything else run its course. Easy.

Bucky swallowed, and wiped his sweaty palm on his pants.

"Jeez, Barnes, are you starting a gang?" Clint called, hopping down from his perch on the couch and moving towards Bucky's spot.

"Step any closer and I'll put a bullet in your knee cap," Bucky hissed out of the corner of his mouth in response, which, yeah, was probably a bit harsh, but Bucky felt he could be forgiven. He was feeling rather tense, and taking no chances of ending up under the mistletoe with Clint - or, worse, having him and Tony under it together again.

Clint held his arms up in surrender, eyes wide, and turned to Steve, who put an arm over his shoulder and wisely turned him around.

"What's his problem?" he grumbled, pointing a thumb back at Bucky.

Bucky didn't hear what Steve said in response, too preoccupied with the sound of his pulse pounding in his ears as the elevator doors swung open.

"Hey, guys, look who I ran into downstairs!" someone who was not Tony - Sam, maybe? - called, and that was all the warning Bucky got before he was overtaken by a massive bicep and half-dragged into the open with the others like a small child.

"Greetings, comrades!" the owner of the bicep boomed, allowing Bucky to identify him as Thor. There was an 'oomph!' as someone else became a victim of Thor's other arm and was squashed up against his chest. Bucky turned his head and found himself eye level with Clint, who started smacking against Thor's back.

"Easy, big guy, easy!" he gasped, crumpling with Bucky when the god finally released them both.

"Thor, what are you doing here?" Steve asked, accepting his own semi-violent hug while Bucky and Clint reaquanted themselves with oxygen.

Thor beamed. "I've decided to come spend the joyous occasion of the Midgardian holidays with you, my friends!" he cried enthusiastically - Bucky had only met the guy a few times, but had never heard him speak unenthusiastically nor quietly - and moved on to clasp Bruce's arm.

"That's great, buddy," Clint wheezed, straightening up and clapping Thor on the shoulder, then breaking out into a huge, wicked grin as he looked back at something around Thor's bulk.

Getting a bad feeling, Bucky shouldered his way around Thor and Clint's snickering form, and felt his spirits sink as he found Tony and Sam both standing under the mistletoe he had placed in front of the elevator, staring at each other with identical expressions of dismay.

"Well, this is awkward." Tony declared, mouth twitching.

"Could be worse," Sam pointed out, ignoring Clint's guffaws and cries of "Karma, Wilson!"

"At least this way I can say I kissed somebody famous. And better you than Barton."

Tony nodded gravely, then looked back towards Bucky and the others and did a double-take. "Oh come on, are you guys serious?" he huffed.

Bucky looked behind him, and saw that everyone but Thor had their phones out and pointed at Sam and Tony. Steve smiled apologetically when Bucky shot him a look of betrayal, but put himself back on Bucky's shit-list by raising his phone higher for a better angle.

"Shut up, this is prime blackmail material." Clint called back at Tony, still snickering.

"I don't understand," Thor muttered in confusion.

"We'll explain later." Bruce murmured back.

"If you dip him like a swooning maiden from a romance novel cover, I'll give you fifty bucks." Natasha told them, eliciting more snickers from Clint.

Tony huffed. "Are you talking to me, or Wilson?"

"Either." Natasha answered, a smirk in her voice.

Bucky stomped off before he could find out if they took her up on it.

* * *

"Stop sulking. He didn't even kiss him on the mouth - he did the same hand-kiss he did to Natasha while Sam pretended to cry." Steve told him the next afternoon, when Bucky was finally feeling less bitter and more like being around people. "I even have a picture, look-"

"I don't want to see a damn picture of it. And I am _not_ sulking." Bucky snapped. Steve raised his eyebrows at him.

Okay, so maybe he was still working on the feeling less bitter part.

"In any case, your plan almost worked." Steve pointed out, changing tactics. "And I'm pretty sure Tony and Sam aren't actually planning on eloping, so…"

"Oh, shut up," Bucky grumbled, digging his hands into his pockets. "What did you want to show me, anyway?"

Steve side-eyed him in a way Bucky knew meant they were going to talk more about this later, but didn't say anything as he steered him around the corner.

Bucky huffed as he was led back into the common room, then felt his mouth drop open as he caught sight of what had to be the thing Steve had brought him in for.

"Holy crap - did you pinch Rockefeller Center's Christmas tree?!" he demanded, craning his neck to look up, and up, and up…. "Wait, is this thing _bigger_ than Rockefeller Center's Christmas tree?"

"You'd have to ask Tony," Steve replied in a tone that meant he was pleased but trying not to show it.

"How'd he even get this into the tower?!"

"Beats me. Clint, did you see anyone bring it in?" Steve called. Clint poked his head around the other side of the massive pine, a round ornament in hand.

"Nope," he replied cheerfully. "I just woke up this morning and it was here. Nat?"

Bucky and Steve walked around until they could see Clint fully, and found him, Natasha, Sam, and Bruce all busily going through boxes of decorations and tree ornaments.

Natasha shrugged, her expression flickering into something Bucky couldn't read as she unearthed one of the ornaments.

"Thor was going on and on last night about Christmas trees, and Tony said we would get another one and that he could pick it out, so." She shrugged again, and smiled fondly down at the tiny, delicate ballerina ornament in her hand.

They all looked at Bruce, who mirrored Natasha's shrug and adjusted his glasses.

"Don't ask me. Thor and Tony got the tree, and Tony's the one who ordered all of this stuff." he said, indicating the boxes. "He said those were for you, by the way." he added, nodding at two boxes off to the side and raising his eyebrows at Bucky.

Bucky wandered over and pulled the top off of one, feeling a flush of warmth and affection when he saw that it was filled with snowflakes. Steve elbowed him in the side, smirking, and held up two gold and red ornaments.

"We should do the whole tree up in these colors." he suggested, making Bucky snort in spite of himself.

* * *

They'd been at it for almost an hour before Tony wandered in, and immediately took over light installation duty from Sam.

"All things electrical are my schtick." he sniffed, as Sam handed off the set he'd been fiddling with. Sam grunted in acknowledgement and squinted up at the tree.

"How the hell are we even going to get the top? Do we have a ladder that tall?" he asked no one in particular, taking a step back to survey their handywork so far. Which, Bucky admitted, wasn't much in comparison to how much tree was still bare, but not bad.

"Some of us can fly," Tony pointed out, catching Bucky's eye when he heard his snort of laughter and winking at him. Bucky felt his cheeks warm, but didn't look away.

Though he'd never admit it to Steve, the last hour had done wonders for his mood. He felt lighter, happier, and braver than he had in days - and it was with that newfound bravery that he shuffled over to Tony, brushing his arm as he helped him free another string of lights from their package.

"Are you really going to suit up to decorate the top of a tree?" he teased, bumping against his shoulder playfully.

Tony scoffed and returned his shoulder bump.

"Of course not! Wilson has wings. And I promised Thor he could do the topper." he replied, straight-faced except for the mirth in his eyes.

Bucky laughed, a small thing deep in his chest that only grew with the delight he saw in Tony's eyes.

"You feeling better, then?" Tony murmured, soft enough for only Bucky to hear. "I noticed you turned in early, last night, and you looked a little tense when you left."

The part of Bucky that was pleased Tony had been paying attention to him purred like a cat, while the rest of him panicked and tried to think of an excuse for his behavior. "Uh, yeah, I was just…"

Tony nodded knowingly. "Thor means well, but he can be a bit...much." he mumbled around the cord he had popped into his mouth. "If it happens again, or even if you just feel like you need a break, try to give me a signal and I'll make an excuse about looking at your arm or something, okay?"

The sincerity in Tony's voice made Bucky's chest hurt, and left him swallowing down the lump of emotion that caught in his throat. Just the _offer_ meant more to him than Tony could ever know, and was the final push Bucky needed to find his courage.

"Actually, Tony, there's somethin' I've been meaning to ask…"

He heard a snort behind him and gritted his teeth, deciding if it was Steve eavesdropping on them he was going to strangle him with a string of lights, best friend or not. When he turned, though, it was to find Bruce smiling at him - not unkindly - and pointing upwards. Bucky followed the motion, and felt his heart start hammering away in his chest as he set eyes on the mistletoe he swore had not been there a few minutes ago.

He must have made some sort of noise, because Tony stopped looking down at the lights he was working on to furrow his brow at him, then peered up to see what had caught his attention and did a double-take.

Bucky lowered his gaze and watched as Tony's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights, the cord dropping right out of his mouth. He dropped his eyes to meet Bucky's and smiled nervously at him, then fiddled with the sting of lights he was still holding as though he'd forgotten they were there.

"So, uh, you're not going to make me dip you, are you?" he asked, chuckling, sounding off to Bucky's ears for some reason he couldn't pinpoint.

"Not unless you want me to," Bucky said softly, aware that his voice had gone husky without him intending it to, but not caring. Tony's eyes widened again, though this time it was accompanied by his pupils dilating, and Bucky's stomach swooped.

Swallowing down butterflies, Bucky leaned in at the same time Tony tilted his head back, and then-

"Friends!" Thor boomed, making both Bucky and Tony jump. Bucky registered what sounded like everyone else hissing and trying to shush him, and then, for the second time in twenty-four hours, he found himself smashed against Thor's bicep.

Only this time, it was immediately followed by also having his lips smashed against the god's - very _thoroughly_. He blinked, dazed, when Thor finally let him have some air, and could only watch in shocked despair as Thor repeated the process with Tony - who was trapped in his other arm - while the genius flailed and smacked him fruitlessly on the shoulder.

"That did _not_ just happen," Bucky heard Clint groan incredulously when Thor finally released them. He took several steps back when Thor made as though he was going to walk towards him, and Steve - who was standing closest - grabbed the chair he'd been using to stand on as though he planned on fighting Thor off with it. Bruce, Bucky noticed, was hiding behind Natasha. "What the hell, man?!"

Thor dropped his outspread hands, his brow crinkled in confusion.

"Damn it, Thor, my mouth was open!" Tony shrieked while Bucky tried to catch his breath, because _holy shit_ that had been an awful lot of tongue.

"I do not understand...was I not partaking in the tradition of kissing those under mistletoe?" Thor asked, both sounding and looking like a kicked puppy.

"Oh you _partook_ , all right." Tony gasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Jesus Christ, Thor. If that's how you greet a teammate I can't imagine what it's like for your girlfriend."

"Jane has never had any complaints," Thor proclaimed proudly, chest puffed.

"I'll bet," Bucky said shakily, because he was pretty sure if he didn't say something he was going to cry.

* * *

Bucky had been unable to look Tony in the eye again after the Thor debacle, and bid a hasty retreat while Bruce and Sam attempted to give Thor a more thorough explanation of the kissing-under-the-mistletoe tradition. (Which had been made longer when somebody - likely Tony - had pointed out that the tradition was supposed to be rooted in Norse mythology to begin with. Thor had called bullshit, and while a quick internet search proved the myth existed, Thor had pointed out that he didn't have a brother named Baldr, and if his mother had created mistletoe out of her tears then he likely would have heard about it.)

Steve tried to catch him on his way out, but was blocked by Tony handing him an armload of lights with an order to start climbing. While Steve was trying to figure out if he was joking or not Tony steered him back towards the tree, looking over his shoulder and giving Bucky a reassuring smile that made his chest constrict.

Even when he was the very thing Bucky was running away from, Tony made things better.

Deciding what he needed to clear his head was something to hit, Bucky headed down to the gym. Tony's distraction couldn't last forever, though, and in what seemed like no time at all, the gym doors opened and someone came in and joined him on the mat.

"Don't," Bucky said flatly, not looking up as he stretched his legs.

"Don't what?" Natasha huffed, surprising Bucky. He'd assumed it was Steve. "Tell you you're being a drama queen, and acting like a mopey child who thinks it's the end of the world because his playground crush won't play with him?"

Bucky gritted his teeth. "Am not," he retorted petulantly, and then, when curiosity got the better of him, "Where's Steve?"

"Last I saw him he was talking to Tony, but that was before Tony left the party and I haven't seen Steve since. I assumed he was down here with you, trying to talk the stupid out of you." she said wryly.

Bucky blinked, latching onto Tony's name rather than get insulted. "Tony left? Why?" He'd looked like he was having fun.

"Yeah, a little while ago. Not long after you did, actually." she said casually, at odds with the intense, laser-sharp way her eyes were piercing him. "Thought maybe he went down to the workshop, but saw him hovering around the elevator on this floor instead. Wonder why."

Bucky frowned, because he really couldn't think of any reason Tony would be on this floor. Natasha's glare intensified.

"If you're tryin' to get me to read your mind, it isn't working." he told her, because while Natasha could beat around the bush all night, he trusted her to be blunt when it counted, too.

" _Bozhe moi_ ," she hissed, rolling her eyes. "Steve was right, you really can be that stupid. You two deserve each other. Go _talk_ to him, _durak_!"

Bucky spluttered. "Steve told you!" he exclaimed, face heating.

Natasha huffed. " _Please_. Spy, remember? Give me _some_ credit. I'm trained to read people, and even if I wasn't, you haven't exactly been subtle."

Bucky groaned, covering his eyes with his hands.

"In any case," Natasha continued, ignoring him. "My patience has worn thin, and you have a genius to woo. Go."

"But-"

"No. _Go_ ," she ordered, eyes narrowing dangerously, and pointed at the door.

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, because he was not a _dog_ , thank you very much, but snapped his mouth shut when he noticed she was wearing her Widow's Bites. She smiled at him, all teeth, when she noticed him noticing.

"Oh, these aren't for you _now_ ," she said sweetly, pulling her sleeve back minutely. Her face changed, then, losing all jovality. "These are for you if you hurt him, later."

Her tone left Bucky not doubting for a second that she was dead serious, too, which oddly left him feeling relieved. He nodded, once, to show they had an understanding, and saw approval reflected in Natasha's eyes before he turned.

Then he took off, not waiting to see what she did have in store for him now if he didn't comply.

* * *

Bucky heard Tony before he saw him, his voice clear thanks to Bucky's enhanced senses, even though he wasn't speaking very loudly.

Tony was talking in the tone he used around people he was particularly comfortable with - softer, and more open than the one he used for the rest of the world - so Bucky was not at all surprised to see Pepper Potts when he finally turned the corner.

He paused and hung back awkwardly, not wanting to intrude but not wanting to leave, either, in case he lost his nerve, and studiously ignored the part of him that said he was being creepy lurking around the corner like he was.

His decision to stay may have also been influenced by noticing just how closely Pepper and Tony were standing, but he tried to ignore that, as well - only with much less success.

"-and anyway, the point is really moot, because you are not at all the person I was hoping to run into down here, and I'm pretty sure the world is conspiring against me. I can still _taste_ Thor, Pep. I think I'm traumatized." Tony was saying, expression hangdog.

"Tony," Pepper sighed patiently, reaching up to place a hand gently on his cheek.

"Do you know Dum-E tried to put some of it in my smoothie, yesterday? I almost died eating mistletoe, Pep. You would have had to put that on my gravestone. 'Make love, not smoothies', or some variation-"

" _Tony_ ," Pepper repeated, stepping closer and reaching up with her other hand so that she was framing Tony's face. Bucky's stomach clenched, the longing ache in his chest growing especially painful when Tony wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"It's just not _fair_ ," Tony mumbled despondently into her shoulder, just loud enough for Bucky to hear, and voicing Bucky's thoughts on the matter as well. Pepper sighed again and ran soothing fingers through his hair, making Bucky's fingers twitch with the yearning to do the same.

Instead he scrubbed a hand over his face, deciding he really needed to leave before he saw or heard anything else he shouldn't. He dropped his hand and gave them one last, longing glance and saw Pepper tilting her head back towards the ceiling, her face pinched.

Dread pooled in Bucky's stomach. He glanced upwards, and was dismayed - but not at all surprised - to find what had become the bane of his existence: mistletoe.

He sucked in an involuntary, frustrated breath, then mentally cursed himself when Tony's head popped up and turned towards him.

"Bucky?" he asked, his expression flickering rapidly between pleased and embarrassed before settling on one of confusion.

"Sorry," Bucky croaked, and spun on his heel to go back the way he came. He heard Tony call his name again, but ignored it.

He didn't need any more reminders of things he couldn't have.

* * *

Since he couldn't exactly take the elevator Tony and Pepper were standing in front of, Bucky took the stairs. The upside to this was stomping down them was somewhat cathartic in a way brooding in an elevator wasn't.

The downside was it was harder to sneak past the others when he stepped off on the next floor, and he really, really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. He could hear Steve in the hushed mix of voices, and he would take one look at Bucky and know something was wrong.

He turned back to the stairs, thinking he'd just head back to his floor, when he thought he heard his name and paused.

"This isn't working. What we need is something less...subtle." what sounded like Steve's voice said. Someone snorted.

"You made me fire a mistletoe arrow over their heads, Steve! It doesn't get any less subtle than that-"

"I am sorry, friends. I did not realize my error would upset Tony and our newest comrade so." Thor's voice rumbled glumly, abating Bucky's rising indignation - but only slightly.

"It's fine, Thor. We should have clued you in a little sooner." Steve sighed. "No use dwelling on it. Where did Natasha go?"

"No idea. Getting more mistletoe? Though I don't know where we'd put it, we're running out of-"

Bucky clenched his fists, ready to stalk out and tell them exactly where they could stuff their mistletoe, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He shook it off and turned to snarl at whoever it belonged to, but deflated when he realized it was Tony. "Uh..."

Tony shook his head, his mouth a thin line and his expression strained as he regarded Bucky, then the space over Bucky's left shoulder.

"We'll deal with them later," he said darkly, tilting his head towards where they could still hear the others talking. He bit his lip nervously, drawing Bucky's attention to his mouth despite his best efforts. "Can we...can we talk now?"

Bucky's stomach dropped at how ominous that sounded. Swallowing, he nodded, his spirits lifting minutely when Tony graced him with a relieved, tentative little smile in response.

Bucky motioned back towards the stairs so they could put some distance between them and their (treacherous, matchmaking) teammates. Tony nodded and indicated that Bucky should lead the way.

"So," Tony said once they'd made their way down to a landing, sitting down on the bottommost step and scooting over to make room for Bucky.

"So," Bucky echoed, ignoring the way his right side tingled everywhere Tony brushed up against him when he sat down.

Tony cleared his throat, then turned soft, uncertain eyes to Bucky's. "What'd you run off for, just now?"

Embarrassingly, Bucky felt the hot prickle that was a precursor to tears at the corners of his eyes.

"Figured you an' Miss Potts wanted some privacy." he croaked, looking down at his knees and willing his eyes to behave themselves.

Tony made an odd sound - something between a hum and a cough - that drew Bucky back up to his face. His nose was wrinkled in confusion, which Bucky felt he shouldn't find so adorable, given the circumstances.

"What? I mean...why?" Tony asked, bewildered.

Bucky let out a frustrated breath. "You know," he muttered, digging his hands into his thighs.

"I really don't," Tony said, frowning. "I mean, I admit that most of that was a little embarrassing for you to hear, but it wasn't something I wouldn't have said right to you, anyway, eventually, and-" He stopped, suddenly, as something seemed to dawn on him. "You know… you know Pepper and I aren't getting back together, right?" he asked hesitantly.

Bucky jerked his head back up in surprise. "You… you aren't?" he choked, thrown by the way Tony flinched and crumpled at the response.

"No! Of course not - we've been broken up forever. You, you know that," Tony protested, upset in a way that seemed disproportionate to Bucky. "I talked to you about it!"

"Yeah, but you two were standing… you know, really close. And it's not really any of my business if you were," Buckyadded hastily, though this only seemed to upset Tony even more.

"It's _Pep_. We're always like that," Tony said, distressed. "Well, okay, not _always_ , but-" He huffed and ran a hand through his hair, then gave Bucky an unreadable look. "I'll always love Pepper, even if it's not romantically, and she's one of the few people to ever get tactile with me like that." he explained carefully. His face was tinged pink, which made Bucky think the admittance cost him something.

He shrugged, then looked directly into Bucky's eyes determinedly, expression earnest. "Old habits die hard, I guess." he admitted.

Bucky swallowed, mind reeling with this new information, and what it meant to him. "But the mistletoe," he blurted, because apparently he was a masochist.

Tony winced. "Yeah, I...kind of forgot it was there. But I'd been waiting there for you a while, and then Pep came in wanting to know why I was all wired, and-"

Bucky brain stuttered to a stop, sure he'd misheard.

"You were waiting there for me?" he choked out, cutting off whatever else Tony was saying. Tony goggled at him like he'd just grown a second head.

"Of course I was waiting for you!" he exclaimed, affronted. "I wanted to talk to you, and - do you have any idea how much mistletoe I've been standing under the last few days, waiting for you to come by and take a hint? I have literally kissed every single member of my team _but_ you. You, sir, are a very hard guy to kiss!"

"Wha… you…" Bucky stuttered, dumbfounded. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, having a hard time talking around his dry mouth. "You didn't think to just… ask?" he suggested faintly.

Tony didn't _quite_ roll his eyes, but it looked like a near thing.

"You're kidding, right?" he huffed, gesturing wildly. "We have been on three dates - three dates! - which you didn't even acknowledge as such. I made every excuse to give us season-appropriate opportunities to make out in public, and you started acting weird. I gave off every signal I could think of - to the point everyone else was picking them up, apparently - and thought my feelings on the matter were pretty clear, so, umm, no - I didn't think to ask."

He crossed arms, his cheeks flushing, and shook his head.

"Seriously, Bucky - three dates! With sit-down lunches and linked arms and looking into each other's eyes and everything. That is not something platonic friends do, I've seen you out with Steve -"

Bucky couldn't help it - he burst out laughing. "Oh, God," he gasped, wiping away tears while Tony floundered. "Stevie an' Nat are right - we are stupid."

Tony looked pained. "I'm beginning to see that." he said, watching Bucky with pursed lips. "Does this mean you don't...not want me?" he asked, going for nonchalant and missing by a mile.

The last of Bucky's laughter died in his throat.

"Tony," he said seriously, leaning sideways to bump his shoulder against Tony's, then reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together. "I've spent the last few days practically insane with jealousy because other people kept gettin' to kiss my sweetheart when I hadn't. I was willing to single-handedly decorate the whole tower in snowflakes just because you said you liked them. I've been agonizing for weeks trying to figure out how to suggest goin' out to you, and just had a mini freak out because I saw you hugging your ex-girlfriend."

He slipped his other hand up to cup Tony's cheek, heart skipping at the way Tony's breath hitched.

"I've been gone over you for months, dummy." he murmured, thumb brushing at the corner of Tony's mouth. "Yes, of course I want you."

"Oh," Tony breathed, pupils blown wide. "That's….oh." He swallowed visibly. "Can we kiss now?"

Bucky's grin felt like it would split his face. "I thought you'd never ask."

It was all the invitation Tony needed. He fisted his hand in Bucky's shirt and yanked at the same time Bucky curved a hand around the back of his neck and tugged him forward. Their noses bumped together, startling a chuckle out of Bucky and a frustrated huff from Tony, but it only took a tilt of their heads for Bucky to finally - _finally_ \- have Tony's lips against his.

The kiss was better than anything Bucky could have dreamed of - soft, slow and chaste but no less toe-curling. He melted into it, tangling his fingers in Tony's hair and feeling gratified when Tony hummed and clenched his fingers in the front of Bucky's shirt in response.

Bucky didn't know if it was hours or seconds later when they finally broke apart, gulping down air.

"Now, was that so hard?" Tony demanded breathlessly, pressing his forehead to Bucky's. Bucky laughed and rubbed their noses together.

"Didn't even need any mistletoe," he agreed before leaning in for another kiss.

From somewhere upstairs came the sound of cheering, along with a few whoops and a cry of "Finally!"

Bucky pulled away enough to shoot a glare upwards at his teammates. They waved cheerfully back down at him. Somehow Steve managed to make his wave look both smug and innocent at the time.

"They're getting coal for Christmas," Tony grumbled half-heartedly, thumping his head against Bucky's shoulder once and hiding his face against Bucky's neck.

Bucky snorted, but couldn't bring himself to care too much, not with Tony tucked up against him like he was.

"We'll think of something," he promised, and gave in to the impulse to kiss Tony's forehead.

There was a chorus of 'Awws' from above, and someone - probably Clint - gagged.

"So much coal," Tony sighed, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement.

Bucky pulled him in for another - and decidedly less chaste - kiss, not caring if the others were still watching or not. He had a lot of missed kisses to make up for, after all.

* * *

 **AN:** In my mind, Tony gains his revenge by giving everyone the ugliest, most hideous itchy Christmas sweaters imaginable in addition to his gifts this year, guilting everyone into wearing them by claiming to have made them himself and watching as they all succumb to the itchiness. Bucky gets _his_ revenge by making sure everyone gets caught under the mistletoe with Thor at least once. X)

Notes on the Russian used in this story:  
 _'Bozhe Moi'_ = 'My God'  
 _'durak'_ = 'idiot'  
I used a transcript from The Avengers for the former, and Google translate (and a Russian alphabet table I found online) for the latter, so I apologize if either is wrong or used incorrectly. My knowledge of Russian is basically zilch, and any mistakes are made out ignorance, with no offense intended. (And if you notice it is wrong, please feel free to tell me, and I'll do my best fix it.)

Thanks for reading!


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